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Neurodiversity Celebration Week: Living with ADHD

I’ve never written something like this before, but reading the term ‘Neurodiversity Celebration Week’ made me feel like I really do have something to celebrate! So, here’s a little bit about my story and my experience being neurodivergent.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 14. One parents’ evening, frustrated after hearing the same feedback she had heard from every teacher at every parents’ evening for the previous ten years, my Mum finally ran out of patience. She asked the teacher what was the point of attending these parents’ evening when every single one was the same: “He can’t focus, he’s always talking, he never sits still, he’s disruptive in class”. It was at this moment that my teacher suggested that I get tested for ADHD. A few months later I received a positive diagnosis! I say ‘positive’ however, after hours of tests and reports, the education psychologist invited me back into the room, sat me down next to my Mum, and turned to her with a face of sadness and despair and says: “Should you tell him or should I?” The psychologist saw this is a life sentence; I saw it as an explanation, vindication, and liberation! Finally, everything made a bit more sense!

A diagnosis didn’t mean my troubles with ADHD were over, far from it! I am still this to day learning how best my brain works and how to get the best out of myself. I still struggle to focus for long periods of time, I get distracted very easily, I procrastinate on simple tasks that for some reason I find make me unnecessarily anxious. One great example of something that can cause me to have a meltdown that a neurotypical person would see as a simple everyday task is posting a letter. When someone asks me to post something, the following panic ensues in my head:

“Where do we keep the envelopes?! Where’s the address kept?! Do we have any stamps!? Where can I buy stamps?! How much do they cost now?! Where’s my wallet?! Where’s my keys? What time does the post office shut?! How do I get there?! Should I take the dog with me?! Where is the dog?! Where’s the dog lead?! Can I take the dog in the shop?! Do I have time before my next meeting?!”

For me this is not one simple task. It is an overwhelming number of small tasks, which at every point lead me to overthink and panic about (what feels like) the endless possibilities of each part of the process and how it could all go wrong. Other tasks on this list are hanging the washing up (painstakingly one item at a time), looking for things I’ve lost, and last but by no means least, packing!

One way I have learned to cope with my ADHD is by being as organised as possible. My whole life is documented in lists and spreadsheets and WhatsApp groups. I plan, plan and plan again so I am prepared for any eventuality. This allows me to not be late for things, not to double book and just generally stay on top of my work and social life, most of the time! Unfortunately, life is full of surprises, and guess what, I don’t like being surprised! A small change to my schedule can cause instant panic. If I’m planning on having a night in and watching a film and my wife comes home and asks if I want to go out to dinner together, cue total brain freeze and anxiety for the next half hour. (My wife is a very patient person!)

After a two-year waitlist, I’ve also recently started taking ADHD medication to help me focus, and while it has definitely increased my ability to concentrate and my productivity, it also makes me realise what I lose when I am on it and what ADHD has given me. ADHD ignites my creativity, it allows me to problem-solve, it helps me be innovative, it gives me resilience, it allows me to analyse things really quickly. It helps me empathise, it allows to me think outside the box and to communicate with people from all types of backgrounds. The list goes on and on.

There’s no doubting that ADHD has had a huge effect on my career path! I have tried my hand at a number of different roles in different sectors, but always with a focus on people and communicating with people. From customer service, to sales, to catering, to recruitment; the bottom line is I like talking to people and on the most part (I think) people like talking to me. Working at Prospectus I feel like I’m able to use the skills my ADHD has given me to carry out impactful work in the charity sector. Since joining Prospectus, I have never had to hide my so-called disability. I have been open about my ADHD from the start and I feel very fortunate to work for an organisation that embraces that and encourages me to work in a way that’s best for me. Being able to take regular breaks, taking calls outside, planning my own diary (where possible) are all things that have helped me work in a more efficient way. There are definitely times where I am sure that my condition and occasionally erratic ways of work has required some patience from my colleagues, but I have never felt judged or resented. For that, I am incredibly grateful.

Why am I sharing all of this you may ask? I suppose I am just trying to give you an insight into what it’s like to be neurodivergent and why sometimes a neurodivergent person may react in a way that seems way over the top or completely irrational. We all experience things in different ways and what may be clear and obvious for one person, may be confusing and overwhelming for another. I think’s it’s important that we all make an effort to try and better understand one another and accept that we are all different, and that is a great thing!

For me, my ADHD is my kryptonite, my superpower, my guiding light all rolled into one. It is an intrinsic part of me which I cannot imagine living without. Sure, there are many days when I get frustrated and curse my bad luck that I couldn’t have had a ‘normal brain’ (if such a thing exists!). But to imagine a me without ADHD is to imagine an ocean with no water. It’s just simply not possible.


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